Start by putting your favourite record on, Oscar Peterson, Madlib, Prince - it doesn't matter who it is, its just got to be funky!
Cut some wonky doorstop slices off a crusty loaf of good bread, and put them under the grill (if they fit in the toaster they are not thick or wonky enough).
Crack a couple of eggs into a bowl add a spoon of creme fraiche or single cream and season with sea salt and fresh black pepper. Now beat the mixture with a fork in time with the music, some songs make better scrambled eggs than others.
Warm a non-stick pan on a medium heat add a good knob of butter and when its all melted pour in the eggy mixture. Now stir like crazy with a wooden spoon until you have a delicious silky looking mass of coated cooked egg. Butter the toast, dollop the scrambled egg on top, finish with a flourish of chopped chives.